Holy Lord, That’s Not Trash!

Let’s face it, we are perhaps the most wasteful society the world has ever seen. Earlier civilizations would look at our heaping, rotting, contaminating piles of rubbish and salivate at the vast wealth contained ever so compactly beneath the ground. We live in a nation so embedded with wealth that we crumple and toss everything from still usable essentials (food, clothing, furniture) to items which would be priceless in earlier eras (or in some countries).

We’ve created, through the ingenuity of our greatest scientists, a concoction of chemicals so stable that they will never bio-degrade. This material is a nearly ever-lasting and extremely flexible substance yet it’s been turned into one of the most disposable items our society so carelessly casts aside. Plastic has become so abundantly worthless that we’ve thrown away enough to create an ever growing island twice the size of Texas out of it; floating, as it is, in the middle of the Pacific ocean.

Give yourself pause; that Coke bottle you dropped at the zoo five years ago is part of a new garbage continent. Those trash bags you toss out every single time you’ve gone grocery shopping for the past decade or two have amassed in such a great number as to create a peninsula rivaling that of the two Koreas.

Before we start claiming territory (although if it comes to that I call dibs on candy wrapper mountain and the surrounding plastic toy valleys) perhaps we should take a better look at all of the so-called garbage we take to the dumpster/curb every week. Within it we can find not only a way to stave off ecological apocalypse but useful, fun, rewarding, and interesting items and projects to gives ourselves and our families something to do. God knows we could all use some productive activities; One Tree Hill, American Idol, and Grand Theft Auto IV do not a complete man or woman make.

Mouth Key

With that in mind I’ll be doing abit of experimenting to find out ways you can turn your refuse into a pile of worthless gold. In coming blogs I’ll be tearing through my apartment looking for ways to keep my trash can empty. Perhaps, through my research, I will arrive at discoveries which will forever eradicate the very need for such a receptacle! Garbage men cower, for your job may soon be as obsolete as books in the White House library.


Photos courtesy of (in order of appearance): David Wolk

Written by Angelo S.

A slightly unstable, detestable troll of a human being. It is advisable that you trust nothing that he says, unless that's what he wants, then you should probably listen carefully. Trickery deceit, and vicious tempestuousness hide beneath a surface of amiable jokery and revealing sarcasm.

You've been forewarned.

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