Fake Plastic Flower Death Squad

Every time I go into a craft store, I visibly cringe while walking past the “floral” department. Some marketing genius decided to refer to them all as “silk” flowers, rather than what they really are: horribly fake plastic imitations of plants. Either way, I’m on a mission to dissociate that muck from mainstream crafting once and for all.

That is, until it becomes “the thing” to find their relics in thrift stores, and use them to make something really cool we haven’t even thought of yet. This isn’t to say that high quality, environmentally friendly silk and natural varieties don’t exist, but generally you will only be able to find them through a florist.

So, how do we fight our way out of the indoor polyester jungle? We should join forces to form a Fake Plastic Flower Death Squad. Here is our plan of action:

Stealthily confiscate all visible artificial foliage from the homes of your loved ones. They will spend significantly less time dusting, but not know why. Bury your contraband in a time capsule until enough decades go by for them to become a hot vintage commodity.
Don’t buy manufactured fake flowers, you can make your own from just about anything. Wise Craft has a tutorial for a cute fabric version(pictured).
Remember houseplants? Though most hardy ones do not provide breathtaking blooms, just think of all the terrific stuff you could re-purpose or create for containers!
Go high tech DIY: Make your houseplants contact you through Twitter when they need to be watered.
Start seeds now for a bountiful windowsill herb garden this spring. This tutorial on Modish will show you how to make a mini indoor green house.
Keep a can of wildflower seeds in your car. It’s nature’s glitter!

Does this all sound a bit more like gardening than crafting to you? Perhaps you think it’s just an elaborate scheme to bring back macrame plant hangers…bingo.